On June 11 at 9:59 and 10:04 AM I received 2 messages back to back... "Pops just passed." "Daddy's dead."
I just sat in silence for a little while. I then text a couple of people who had been asking about him to let them know. One of my dear friends picked up the phone and called me and when she asked how I was, no words would come. I tried. I tried really hard to say something, but I couldn't. When I was finally able to break through the flood of tears, I couldn't say a lot but one of the things I was able to say was "I just got him." Even as I sit here now writing this, this is all that I can think. I had just gotten my daddy. I was finally able to think fondly of him. And now he was gone. But the spirit in me rose up and reminded me that
God's timing is perfect. I was able to smile through the tears because I realized that the coldness that had survived in my heart for all these years because of my state of fatherlessness was gone.
Father's Day 2017
So now I find myself a week later...Father's Day. But this sucked! It sucked that for the first time in my 41 years I had looked forward to Father's Day for my own father and now I no longer had an earthly, biological father. Yeah yeah I know all the scripture and how I have other men who seve as fathers and I don't take that for granted, but that does not fix the pain and the emptiness of standing there on that day without my daddy