Last night Pastor Jeremy Foster was at my church. He spoke a powerful word. The thing that stood out to me the most was when he spoke about when his faith failed. It made me reflect on my faith walk and examine if there was a time when my faith failed. Not necessarily when I had a small momentary lapse of doubt but when my faith completely failed me.
It brought me back to 2004 and 2005 when I was going through divorce. I remember feeling like I was repeating the cycle of my family. I had thoughts like who would want a woman with two kids. I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I found myself having left a job that I loved and a church that I loved in another state to move back to Texas to try to save my marriage, now unemployed (except for some temp work) and living in an income sensitive apartment with my 2 kids.
Did I believe that God had failed me? Absolutely. Little did I know that what He was doing was giving me the building blocks for the greatness that He was bringing me to. Have I completely achieved that greatness? Have I laid claim to all that He has in store for me? Absolutely not. But what I do know without a shadow of a doubt is that faith failure really set me up to never doubt Him again. Has everything that He has promised me comes to pass yet? No, but my faith says that it's coming. It may not come in the way that I think that it's coming, but I have no doubt that it is.