Happy Fatherless Day: Entry 4

June 22, 2017

"I've waited 40-odd years for this to happen and I'm not surprised, amazed or intrigued". This is an exact quote of the opening of his letter to me. The first time I read it, I literally stopped at that period and put the letter down because my whole attitude and spirit was messed up. In that moment I felt as if there was nothing this man could say that I wanted to hear. About a day later I picked it up and gridgingly continued to read.

In the middle of the letter he spoke of his struggles and how he had no help. My inner response - then you should have kept it in your pants. As I continued to read, it didn't get any better. I continued to feel like there were nothing but excuses. I went back and read that letter several times. I don't know if it took 3 or 4 times for my heart to feel something when I read "My prayers have been answered Babygirl. God couldn't have done me more proud with you. " Something about that moment caused me to shed tears and my heart to soften - a little. I was convicted in that moment to see beyond the fact that he didn't use the words "I'm sorry". In that moment I realized that 40 years of pain didn't have to govern me any longer. In that moment I was shown that all it takes is a moment. 


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