June 30, 2017...the day they laid the man who is responsible for half of my attitude... half of my intelligence... half of my wonderfully made, flawed self to rest. It was longer than a week but it didn't feel any better. The spirit again reminded me that God's timing was perfect. I had to do some serious self-reflection and get to the root of some things. Past relationships. Past feelings. Past ways of doing things. When I thought about it, I had to be real with myself a
On June 11 at 9:59 and 10:04 AM I received 2 messages back to back...
"Pops just passed."
"Daddy's dead." I just sat in silence for a little while. I then text a couple of people who had been asking about him to let them know. One of my dear friends picked up the phone and called me and when she asked how I was, no words would come. I tried. I tried really hard to say something, but I couldn't. When I was finally able to break through the flood of tears, I couldn't say a lot
On the last day, after everyone cleared the room so that we could have some privacy, I sat on the arm of the chair. My dad couldn't speak so everything I 'heard' came from his eyes and facial expressions. I heard "I am sorry". I heard "I wish I had protected you". I heard "I wish I had lived life differently" and "I don't want to say goodbye". I kissed him on his forehead, took the first and only picture of the 2 of us that I have ever seen, and looked him in his eyes and tol